Who is that Face in the Mirror?

Sometimes I don't recognise the person in the mirror. The person I see in my mind is not the one who gets reflected back to me in the mirror or in photographs. I don't understand how I could have changed so much and I often get down about it. This week has been one of those weeks. I haven't lost any weight this week. When I saw the number on the scale, I started my usual negative litany that often runs through my mind about my appearance. But for once I stopped myself. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. Just look at the painting below.....This woman was once considered a great beauty. In today's society she would be looked at as over weight. But even "overweight" she has a confidence that draws you in and makes you want to look at her again. Confidence is always sexy. That is something I need to work on.

I still want to be healthy, but the way others see me has more to do with how I see myself. Once I see myself as beautiful and sexy; others will too.

What is beauty?

Historically, throughout nature there is a proportion that seems to denote better health and aesthetic beauty. This is referred to as the "Golden Ratio." Mathematically this ratio can be expressed as 1.61803399.

This ratio reappears in plants and animals over and over again. Humans are no different. DaVinci showed what an "ideal" man should be in his Vitruvian Man (pictured left). Throughout the years many studies have proven over and over again that men find women whose hip to waist ratio is close to the Golden Ratio as more attractive.

Now I would like to take this moment to point out that it was the ratio and not the size of the girl that had men labeling images of women as more attractive. So why do we women put so much pressure on ourselves to be "thin"? Concepts of beauty change over time. The Italian Renaissance wanted women who looked pregnant. Before the industrial revolution pleasantly plump women were the preferred beauty because it meant you could afford food, but weren't lazy. Even Marilyn Monroe one of this century's undisputed great beauties wore a size 12 on average; which by today's rigorous standards would have her as over weight. I wear either a 14-16 dress size; just a couple of dress sizes different from that famous beauty; but I have been told by medical professionals that I am morbidly obese.

I have always been bigger than society's "ideal." That didn't really bother me until recently. While it is annoying to try and find clothes that fit large hips and bust when you have a relatively small waist, I still felt good physically. I am now at the heaviest I have ever been. 210 lbs. But even with that my measurements don't have me that far off of the "Golden Ratio." Do I want to lose weight? Yes.....but not because I need society's approval. I want to lose the weight because I am getting the aches and pains that come with the extra weight. I want to be able to keep up with my beautiful children.

I don't want to be single digit sizes.....I happen to like my curves. But I want to be healthy. So here in front of the Internet and everyone I am taking my first steps towards better health. I'm a busy mom, my family is on a tight budget. I am going to find healthy habits that work for a real life mother and family. Please help keep me accountable. Offer advice or resources if you have any.

Starting Stats:

weight: 210 lbs

Measurements:

44.5 in. bust

39.5 in waist

48.5 in hips

28.5 in thighs

15.5 in upper arm

running: 50 yards before really winded

push-ups: 10

Forward into health!!!!