Shopping Therapy

Mom and I went out shopping on Saturday. A couple of stores in our mall were having close-outs sales. So we decided to check it out.

I found this adorable top that when I wear it makes my waist look smaller, my boobs look perky, and my tummy flatter. I love, love, LOVE finding clothes like this. They are the kind of things that just make you feel better about yourself when you put them on.

Add to the fabulous top, a leather skirt that fits like a glove and only cost me $3.99 (store closing sale); and we have a killer outfit that makes me feel like I want to conquer the world.

I put it all together with a pair of stiletto ankle boots that I bought just because I liked them; even though I never thought I would have a reason to wear them. I wore the outfit on Sunday and had more compliments on how I looked than I had received from people, other than my husband, in years.

I felt good.....no not good, GREAT! In my mind I was sexy, gorgeous, and could turn heads. Even after I took the outfit off, I still had that feeling. I loved it. It then all came to a crashing halt this morning when I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained a little of the weight I had lost; most likely because of the fried chicken I ate this weekend. (mmmm....fried chicken).

It seems like the hardest thing about changing how I view myself is the litany of negative self-talk that runs through my head. I probably had those extra pounds on me when I was wearing my super-fly outfit and I still felt great at that time.....so why does just knowing about those pounds burst my confidence bubble?

Maybe I need to go shopping again...

Weekly Health Progress

Weight loss can be maddeningly frustrating at times. Trying to change your lifestyle into something more healthy is even more daunting. I look over my over all goals and there are times that I despair because it seems impossible.

I started out at 210 lbs. If I am to get to a healthy BMI number, doctors and the charts say that I need to be around 135 lbs at my heaviest to still be in that healthy range. I don't put much stalk into these charts; because I firmly believe they are just guidelines and each individual is different. Now I didn't come to this conclusion because the idea of losing 75 lbs scares the crap out of me (even though it does). I came to this conclusion because I didn't always used to be heavy and at one point in time I was a healthy active individual. I only reached that BMI goal weight once in my life and when I was there you could count my ribs.....anyone looking at me could see it wasn't a healthy weight for me and my body.

I felt my best and looked my best when I was around 150 lbs. Which is why for my my current goal is to be around 150-160 lbs. Why the extra 10 lbs cushion? Because I have had two children since then and it is a realistic number for my personal health.

50-60 lbs is still a lot to lose and is daunting. I know from past experience trying to lose weight that it can be very discouraging as well. Which is why this time around I am focusing on the health rather than the weight. But changing your entire lifestyle is just as overwhelming.

I was offered an analogy the other day which I think is worth sharing.

"Weight loss and healthy living for beginners is like eating an elephant. You try to do it all at once you are going to choke and fail at best.....kill yourself at worst. The only way to conquer the challenge is to take each small bite one at a time."

Simple advice, but many of us (including myself) forget to follow it.

So instead of trying to conquer everything at once I have decided to concentrate on a few simple goals first.

Goal #1: I will monitor my weight. I didn't even own a scale for years and it is during those years that most of this weight creeped up on me. I will be mindful of when I start to gain weight and try to spot any triggers for it.

Goal #2: I will eat at least one serving of green veggies with each lunch and dinner. Even if this is a pre-bagged salad, or canned veggies popped into a microwave. This will help to fill me up with fewer calories as well as making sure that I am balancing my diet a bit better.

Goal #3: Drink more water. I don't really drink soda and coffee; but I still don't get enough water to keep myself hydrated well. I need to start carrying a water bottle with me.

Now you will notice that I haven't set up a goal for exercise yet. This is mostly because I don't want to set myself up for failure. I start a new job at the end of this week and I have no idea what my schedule will be like. Once I know what that is I can better plan exercise that works well for me and my life style.

Stats update:

Starting weight: 210

Current weight: 206.8

I lost 3.2 lbs!! Woo Hoo!!!

Measurements:

44 in bust (.5 in loss)

39 in waist (.5 in loss)

48 in hips (.5 in loss)

15.5 in upper arm (no loss)

1.5 inch total loss. Yay!!

I still get really winded after 50 yards and can do 10 push-ups

What is beauty?

Historically, throughout nature there is a proportion that seems to denote better health and aesthetic beauty. This is referred to as the "Golden Ratio." Mathematically this ratio can be expressed as 1.61803399.

This ratio reappears in plants and animals over and over again. Humans are no different. DaVinci showed what an "ideal" man should be in his Vitruvian Man (pictured left). Throughout the years many studies have proven over and over again that men find women whose hip to waist ratio is close to the Golden Ratio as more attractive.

Now I would like to take this moment to point out that it was the ratio and not the size of the girl that had men labeling images of women as more attractive. So why do we women put so much pressure on ourselves to be "thin"? Concepts of beauty change over time. The Italian Renaissance wanted women who looked pregnant. Before the industrial revolution pleasantly plump women were the preferred beauty because it meant you could afford food, but weren't lazy. Even Marilyn Monroe one of this century's undisputed great beauties wore a size 12 on average; which by today's rigorous standards would have her as over weight. I wear either a 14-16 dress size; just a couple of dress sizes different from that famous beauty; but I have been told by medical professionals that I am morbidly obese.

I have always been bigger than society's "ideal." That didn't really bother me until recently. While it is annoying to try and find clothes that fit large hips and bust when you have a relatively small waist, I still felt good physically. I am now at the heaviest I have ever been. 210 lbs. But even with that my measurements don't have me that far off of the "Golden Ratio." Do I want to lose weight? Yes.....but not because I need society's approval. I want to lose the weight because I am getting the aches and pains that come with the extra weight. I want to be able to keep up with my beautiful children.

I don't want to be single digit sizes.....I happen to like my curves. But I want to be healthy. So here in front of the Internet and everyone I am taking my first steps towards better health. I'm a busy mom, my family is on a tight budget. I am going to find healthy habits that work for a real life mother and family. Please help keep me accountable. Offer advice or resources if you have any.

Starting Stats:

weight: 210 lbs

Measurements:

44.5 in. bust

39.5 in waist

48.5 in hips

28.5 in thighs

15.5 in upper arm

running: 50 yards before really winded

push-ups: 10

Forward into health!!!!